OZJ's girl ♥♥♥

I've got alot of things to say right now. But my mind now is like suddenly blank. Wtf? Have to use my brain and think slowly again.

I still remember how i get to know you. Last week of February, 2010, i went up to noelle's house. That's was the first time i saw you. I'm shy as your looking at me so i left first. I dint really know that thingy will get more complicated. When i'm with noelle one day, your asked to play mj. And you even asked if can played at my house. I don't know why i agreed. And i still remember on 1 march 2010, is the day we officially known each other. You were playing mj and you left first cause you having school the next day. And we started texting with each other. 3 days later, you told me you had feelings for me. I don't believe it cause it's totally too fast. And yeah, i told noelle about this cause i don't know who to talk with. She asked me not to be with you cause your reputation not very good. And i said orh. You asked me for stead but i rejected. And also i want to see how long you can wait. During the whole month of march, we spent alot of times together. We played mj everyday at my house. I admit that i start to have feelings for you but not that much. Qr did asked me why i will like you? I say don't know. You treat me good and sent me home when we were outside. And i dint know that you stayed so near me and yet i never seen you before in panjang area. So on 1 april, i accepted you. You said you were very happy and will cherish me. I'm happy too. So life still go on. Mj everyday. And went down cck to slack. You introduce your friends to me. All so friendly. Moved house that day, you never came down and helped me. I dint angry at all. Cause you were tired. But i'm sad that we stay quite far now. Our one month anniversary, we went to town. But in the end, we were quarreled cause of small matters. I'm sad. But in the end, we were okay. During may, lots of thing happened. Both of us had sore eyes. You were having sore eyes but yet you still went to work. I'm so worried for you. One day, me, zh, rst and jack went down to town and played l4d2 while waiting for you and your brother to off work. All of them treat and take care of me. Then met up with you. You look so tired. And you drank. You were leaning on my shoulder and said you're abit drank and you almost fall asleep. And it's my turn to have sore eyes. I stayed at home for like two weeks and seldom met up with you. And thingy changed. Just cause i want to see you, i went down cck to find you. To me, you like don't appreciate it at all. And i starting to feel that i've been neglected by you. So i requested to break up. And yeah, i did cried that time. I cried till very badly and my eyes were having sore eyes that day. It's painful. Emelda, noelle and zhixian were there to consoled me. Your brother called me and told me he's shocked and also heart pain when he saw you cried. He told me i'm the first girl who made you shed tears just in two months. I'm shocked to hear it. Eventually, i took back all the words. I regretted saying all those. Cause i told myself, i really love you, why should i let you go? At that time, i realized you're important to me. I cant bear to lose you. We did break and patch many times. But nevertheless, i still love you. That time, you treat me cold when we were at cck. Then you walked away with jacky. And i went back panjang with noelle. In lrt, i cried damn badly. Noelle consoled me. Met up with zx, and i cried. He consoled me too. Then went 163 to eat. You came with jacky they all. After eating, both of us had chat. You hugged me and i almost cry but you said don't cry. I'm happy that we're alright. June, i started working. After work, i went down cck to find you no matter how tired am i or how late it is. But did you appreciate it? No, you don't. But thing getting worst. So june 18, is the day we officially broke up. You said you start to get annoyed by my attitude and all that. And yeah, i'm sad. I cried. Cause that only the thingy i can do. You said be friends better. I don't agree because i still can't accept the fact. After the break up, i tried my best to forget about you and try my best to treat you as my friend. I took damn long time just to treat you as my friend. Eventually, i did. We were friends again. Then we started to play mj together again. My 17th birthday that day, i enjoyed it because you were there. I thought you won't came but eventually you came. I'm definitely happy. I made three wishes. I pray hard it'll come true. When i'm abit drunk, you did helped me. Thanks. I lean on your shoulder which i felt very comfortable but in the end, my mum sat beside me. On july 11, we patched. I'm damn happy. I really don't know what words i can said. But i told myself it's ain't easy for us to be back together again, and i'll never let you go. And yeah, we went out again. Play mj together. As days passed, i felt you don't even treat me as your gf. So i asked you and yet you still can said don't know. I really felt damn sad. And you said we be friends better. And yeah, we broke up. Cried. Wtf? Then what's the point of patching with me when you yourself don't even know you got treat me as your gf anot? That's not the main point. The main point is, did you still love me? Ask yourself, did you ever done a part as a boyfriend? When i saw those boyfriend treat his girlfriend so good, i'm jealous. I was wondering why you don't treat me well. You once said before is i'm the one who doesn't want to step into this relationship, but now i step in, what did you do? You made me love you so deeply and you left me with a scar, bleeding. You're going in ns soon. You will never know how much i misses you right now. How much i really want to see you. How much i really want to hug you tightly. I really miss the times we spent together last time. I miss the times we played mj together. I miss the times we ton together. I miss the times we slack together at cck. I miss the times walking from cck to gombak with you. I miss the times we went watch movie together. I miss the times we talked and laugh together. I miss the times you came my house and stay over. I miss the times when you say you love me. I miss holding your hands. I miss hugging you. I just miss everything that we spent together. But did you miss? I doubt so. I hope to spend time with you, but did you bother? No, you don't. Still remember i asked you go watch movie when we were tgt that time? You said don't want. And after we broke up, you, qr and zx still went to watch movie. Wtf? Yes, i admit i'm jealous when qr talked or do whatever with you. But i can't say much. Besides it, your known each other longer. Now you said be friend, and i accepted it. But did you treat me as friend? You reply my messages so cold. What's the point of texting with you and be friend? You all along know that i really love you, but did you bother? I'm not for you to play, my dear. I'm human too. You kept hurting me again and again. Even though i'm damn unhappy and angry about how you treated, but deep down my heart, i dint even blame you because i still love you. I'm a girl who will get easily hurt, jealous easily and also think too much. I just want you to love me, concern me and cares about me. Is that so difficult? I don't request so much thing like other girls. I don't mind if you don't buy anything for me. I just need your love. You're the first guy i really really love. Sighs. Write all this in my blog, also useless. You already move on but i still stuck here alone. Tell me what should i do. Seriously i don't know.. I just know one thing, i still love you seriously. Believe it anot, is up to you. That's all i want to say. I might not see you one last time before you go in ns. Take good care of yourself. I guess you'll find a better girl than me. And if we're really meant to be together, fate will bring us back together again... ♥

6 more days.